


Now and Then - english version

by blacksalami69



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 05:51:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20237800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacksalami69/pseuds/blacksalami69
Summary: Can you imagine having the chance to say I love you to someone who’s not here anymore? Have you ever felt on your throat the stuck tears and the words you never said to them?





	Now and Then - english version

**Author's Note:**

> hi, this is my own english translation to the fic i wrote like a million years ago u.u if i had any kind of typo my bad, i tried my best.  
Leave kudos if you liked it u.u

Can you imagine having the chance to say I love you to someone who’s not here anymore? Have you ever felt on your throat the stuck tears and the words you never said to them?

Well, that happened to me the day i knew my best friend, John, had been killed and declared deceased on december 8th of 1980. 

Early morning that day it was already on international tv news what had happened to him, i was shocked and didn’t know what to do. I felt a part of me had died that hell of a day.

That morning i went to the studio because i always thought work de-stress me and i like keeping my mind busy. When i finished recording i went outside the studio and there was a bunch of reporters, cameras and people who were walking there trying to pass between them but the reporters didn’t let them. Once i was outside one of them got closer to me. A cameraman put that thing right on my face while the other one hurried in asking me about the recent event.

\- Mr.McCartney, how was your reaction after knowing about John lennon’s death?

_ What did he expected? i felt like shit _

\- I’m very touched to be honest, it was a terrible new, you know.

\- What have you been doing today?

\- Well, i’ve been all day on the studio, recording new material 

\- Why?   
\- Oh god, i’m not in the mood.   
\- When did you first hear about John Lennon’s death?

_ He was already making me angry. _

\- Early morning, i don’t know  
\- Are you strong, Mr McCartney? 

That was one of the stupidest questions i’ve ever heard in my life. Yes, i looked strong outside because i didn’t want to anyone to see how broken i was inside, i felt like death. I lost one of the most precious people in my life, first my mother, then him. Who will be next? Linda?

I answered him. I can’t remember what exactly, but it seems it was something that made him feel upset because i never saw that interview aired on tv.

I got mad and went back home.

The day after john's death i spoke to Yoko on the phone and the first thing she told me was _"You were very precious to John"._

I remember the last conversation i had with John, it was when we still were good friends and co-workers. He used to be very kind. He used to put his old grandma’s glasses down and say It’s just me. This is one of my precious moments. If i knew John would be killed i wouldn’t have been too distant and quiet with him. I would’ve made an effort to break that mask i made and had a better relationship with him.

In 1994 i received two cassettes from Yoko, there were songs that John never released. One of them had a written outside For Paul. I listened to it once i got home There was a song name _ Now and Then _, which seemed john wrote it for me. When i listened to it i was surrounded by many feelings and memories we had together. I couldn’t help but crying. i only wished he was by my side once again, like the old times but i knew that wouldn’t happen.

I'll always live with the memory of the wonderful man i met and became a brother of mine. So, wherever you are, i want you to know i love you, John, and i always will. I wish someday we met once again, my dear friend.

**James Paul McCartney Mohin, December 8th of 1995.**


End file.
